“You’re crazy.” “Is it your time of the month?” “Why are you being so emotional?”
No. I am not crazy. It is not my “time of the month” and what is wrong with being emotional?
For many years, these three phrases – so short and often said in nonchalant passing – controlled me. Like a puppet on a string in the hands of someone who loathed me, they held the power to make me alter myself – my appearance, my actions – in order to fit in to the world around me. The simple utterance of any one of them could halt me in my tracks and make me feel so completely small and insignificant in the world. The waves of self-doubt that washed over me were crushing, so rather than drown, I found myself a life jacket just strong enough to keep my head above the water. For years I lived like this. Barely afloat in an ocean of judgment, stress, anxiety and depression.
Now don’t get me wrong, every so often there is a wave large enough to pull me under for just a moment…but now I have a boat you see. And that boat allows me to sail above that treacherous ocean on most days. My hope is that I can help you to find your boat. Something to help you sail through a self-doubt filled day.
I am not saying that if you build yourself this conceptual boat, that you will never be sad again; never doubt yourself or never shed a tear. But what I AM saying is that allowing yourself access to the right tools can help make those days less frequent, and easier to recover from.
For me, the hardest part was deciding that I was not going to let these phrases control me. And that may sound like a simple fix, but the reality is that you cannot just flip a switch and make everything okay. You need to work at it every day, until eventually, one day, you find yourself replacing those negative phrases with positive ones.
“You’re crazy!” …No. I am not crazy, I am passionate and outgoing.
“Is it your time of the month?” …No. I am simply a human being with more than one emotion.
“Why are you being so emotional?” …Because I am an empathetic person who cares deeply about those around me and I am not ashamed of that.
It is a hard journey, but eventually, you can find an affirmation for any negative phrase that is thrown your way. This is a method that helped me when I was at a personal low, and I challenge you all to give yourself at least one positive affirmation today. Go ahead and share it here and experience the transition from self-doubt to self-love.