The "L" Word
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Today’s post is extra special as it features some bonus content that I have never created for this site before… A YOUTUBE VIDEO (cue the cringing)! Yup, that is right… I recorded my weird, awkward self and put it on the internet just for you! Over the past two weeks I have asked you all what you want to know about relationships SO I sat down with my boyfriend and together we answered your questions! If you want to see that super fun video, you can go ahead and click the link below to get the juicy scoop on me, my boyfriend, and relationships (shameless self-plug: be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you want me to make more video content in addition to blog posts)!
Check it out before you get into the rest of this post:
ALRIGHT…since we got out the giggles in the video above, I want to use this post to focus on some of the more “tame” (yet IMPORTANT) side of relationships, love, and all other things that tend to be the center of attention around Valentine’s Day festivities.
Love: It starts with YOU
Whether you are spending today with a significant other, friends, family or enjoying some alone time with yourself, make sure to take some time to send yourself some love because YOU are someone worth celebrating!
Sure it is nice to celebrate your relationships with others, but the most important relationship you will ever have is your relationship with yourself. Let’s be honest… it can be hard/awkward/weird enough saying the “L” word to someone else, but I promise you this: if you can learn to say it to yourself (and TRULY mean it), then you will know when the time is right to say it to someone else and genuinely mean it (because let’s face it, the word “love” gets thrown around quite a lot these days, and half the time we do not really mean it). Self-love is one of the hardest forms of love out there, and more often than not, your relationship with yourself will be the most difficult relationship in your life; BUT it is the most important relationship to work at and fight for!
Before you can really accept love from someone else and understand their feelings for you (whether it is romantic love or love from family and friends), you have to establish some feelings of love for yourself. Believe, me I KNOW how hard this can be. I still have to remind myself quite frequently why I deserve love and that can be hard to wrap your head around. We are our own worst enemies. We hold ourselves to impossible standards in every aspect of our lives, and constantly compare ourselves and our lives to others. We are never good enough. We are never satisfied with what we have. We constantly want more and more and more… to the point where we can never truly be happy because we are constantly telling ourselves that there is something better out there and therefore what we have right now is NOT good enough. WELL… I want to end this! I want us to stop looking elsewhere and start looking at ourselves and our lives and appreciating everything that we have. You do not need a significant other to be “relationship goals.” You do not need to hate on yourself because you don’t look like the people you follow on Instagram. You are beautifully and uniquely YOU and you DESERVE all of the love that the world has to offer! Starting with you!
I CHALLENGE YOU:
It can be a difficult journey to love yourself, but I challenge you to start by finding one thing that you truly love about yourself. Then I want you to write it out on a piece of paper and tape it to your mirror. Every morning when you look in the mirror, say the affirmation out loud to yourself (sure you may feel silly but who cares!). Eventually, those words will be easy to say. It won’t feel awkward. When this day comes, add a new affirmation to your mirror. This time, something that may be slightly harder for you to love about yourself. And continue!! Eventually you will have a mirror full of positivity and self-love and with time, each and every one of those affirmations will sink in and you will start to FEEL THE (self)LOVE!
Giving and Receiving Love
Every single person feels love and receives love in a different way and being aware of that can make a HUGE difference with the relationships you have in your life. For instance, I feel love by being physically and emotionally close to someone, where as, others may feel love by receiving presents with a monetary value or by hearing the words “I love you” said out loud. Being aware of how the people in your life receive love will allow you to make the most of your relationships and show that person that you really care. For example, Shawn (my boyfriend) knows that buying me a present is not the way to my heart (that is NOT saying that I do not appreciate the gesture because I think it is unbelievable sweet and kind) BUT rather, organizing a cozy night in for the two of us to watch a movie together and have some couch snuggles will make my heart happiest. For him, however, I know that every now and then I need to tell him how much he means to me out loud, because that is how he best receives love.
If you are thinking to yourself “I have NO idea what makes my significant other (or friends and family) “feel the love” DO NOT FRET. Simply ask them. It may feel strange at first but it will make your relationship stronger in the end and you will both be happier! It is important to never assume that your loved ones feel love in the same way that you do, because we are all wonderfully unique and different, and therefore we feel things differently too!
Valentine’s Day Myth: you do need to spend hundreds of dollars on flowers and chocolates and presents to show someone that you love them. FALSE. Time and conversation are priceless and ten-times more valuable. We often spend hours a day with someone (friends/family/significant others), without ever really spending more than 5 minutes with them. Sitting next to someone while you both text other people and browse through social media is NOT spending time together. In fact, it tends to send the message that you would rather be spending your time with anyone BUT the person you are sitting next to.
It is so important to celebrate the love you have in your life every now and then because LOVE in any way, shape or form is definitely something worth celebrating and should not be taken for granted! Do you love yourself? Celebrate by treating yourself to a self-care night. Do you love your friends? Organize a get-together with all of your most-loved pals and catch-up over treats and games! Feeling the love for your family? Arrange a family outing to show them you care! Do you have a significant other? Write them a letter or cook them their favourite meal to remind them how much they mean to you! There are so many kinds of love and relationships that we experience in our life times, and it is important to nurture them and remind yourself (and others) why you love them so darn much!
Once again I have rambled on (surprise, surprise) and I am sure you are tired of reading by now so I will just leave you with this. I hope that each and every one of you set a goal to focus on and improve your self-love while also working to strengthen the love and relationships you have with others in your life. Let’s make 2019 a year of love, not just one day’s worth! Comment down below how you plan to spread more love and let the people you cherish know you love them!